Hermione Interferes
by amandald98
Summary: Hermione is tired of fanfiction, Draco Malfoy, and her husband coming home covered in slime. A holiday, she believes, is in order.


The Titleth Being: Hermione Interferes

The Disclaimereth Being: Hmmm… Do I sound like J.K. Rowling? I thought not. I'm glad we're on the same page about that.

The Summaryeth Being: Hermione is tired of fanfiction, Draco Malfoy, and her husband coming home, covered in slime. A holiday, she believes, is in order.

Hermione Granger was upset. She was tired of being paired with Draco Malfoy in all the fanfics. This was something she just couldn't see happening. She wondered why anyone would _do _such a thing!

"Hey, Ron!" she called to her husband. He emerged from the trapdoor to the fanfiction world, completely covered in slime.

"What?" he said, trying not to swallow the green stuff.

"What do you think of going on a little holiday?"

"Sounds fine to me. I don't get paid enough for this." He gestured to his filthy clothes, "Where to?"

"I was thinking maybe… Derbyshire?"

"Oh no… Don't tell me you want to try that charm you got from Mary Bones awhile back."

"What?" Hermione said innocently, "I just want to go and enjoy the scenery."

"With Mr. Darcy," Ron grumbled, "Couldn't you do anything better than interfere in stories? Especially muggle stories?"

"But Pride and Prejudice is epic!"

"Says you."

"Well, you'd better be ready by the time I get back downstairs. We're going to floo to Derbyshire, and then I'll test out that charm."

Ron grumbled, but grabbed the jar of floo powder and a change of clothes. He went to the grate and, with a flick of his wand, started a fire.

Hermione came down the stairs, now carrying her battered copy of Pride and Prejudice and wearing an empire waist dress. "Ron…" she groaned, "You need to dress like them, too. They'll get all freaked out by our robes."

"And how would _you _know?" asked Ron suspiciously.

"Ah… Mary was a bit of an Austen addict. That's how she perfected the spell. But go up and get changed! There's a set of clothes in the top left drawer."

"Yes, ma'am!" he said sarcastically, heading up the stairs. Two minutes later, he was back down again.

"Ready now?" Hermione asked, already putting the floo powder into the flames, which glowed emerald, "Pemberley, Derbyshire." She stepped into the flames, and disappeared with a whoosh.

"Okay…" Ron said, grabbing a pinch of the powder. He stepped into the flames, stated his destination, and was whooshed up, too.

**A minute later, **they both arrived in a fireplace. The very fine specimen of a fireplace (Mr. Collins fainted at the glazing) was located in a rather large library. A rag dusted the topmost shelves by magic.

"Come on," Hermione whispered, dragging Ron out the door and into the drafty corridor.

"Why (cough) didn't we (cough) apparate?" asked Ron, dusting himself off.

"The magical boundaries on this house are too strong. It's like Hogwarts minus the students."

"So basically a bunch of boring teachers and ghosts?"

"_Ron…_"

"Okay, fine. But who owns this place?"

"No one, currently. After Mr. Darcy died childless in 1820, there were no other owners of the house."

"But I thought he married Elizabeth Bennet?"

"_You _would think that! No, Darcy eventually lost faith that his Elizabeth would ever accept him, and he died 8 years later of a broken heart."

"That sucks."

"Anyways, the reason I think we should go back to the point in which Elizabeth comes to Pemberley is that Darcy could come too… Without her knowing, of course."

"Wait… So she went to his house, but he wasn't there? How weird is that?"

"Not in those days, it wasn't. I think we should try a simple summoning charm."

"Does that actually work with people?"

"I've tried it on Crookshanks. It should be fine."

"Okaaayyy…"

"Now, in order for this to work, we're going to have to get outside."

The couple ran out of the old house, heading for a meadow with some trees for cover.

"Next," Hermione said, "We need to open the book to the exact page Elizabeth see Pemberley." She flipped through the book a bit. "You need to hold onto the book too. Pretend it's a portkey."

Ron grabbed the book.

"I'm going to try this. There's no guarantee it's going to work, okay?" asked Hermione.

"We've seen worse," replied Ron, "Let's do this."

"Liber portare mundus," said Hermione.

Suddenly, the world seemed to fall out from under their feet. The air seemed to push in on them and bend into weird shapes all around them. The house on the hill became brighter, less dark and gloomy. Then, all the movement stopped.

"Looks like we're here!" said Hermione cheerfully, summoning her bag.

"I feel a bit queasy," said Ron.

"It's like the Time Turner!"

"What?"

"Never mind."

"So what do we do now?" asked Ron.

"Simple: summon Mr. Darcy and hide," said Hermione, as if it was only practicing the Levitation charm, "Accio Mr. Darcy!"

A little pop, and Mr. Darcy appeared before them, quite confused and disgruntled. "Good day," he said, with a furrowed brow, "My name is Fitzwilliam Darcy. Might it be too much to ask where I am?"

"Good day, Mr. Darcy," said Hermione, giving a textbook Regency curtsey, "I am Helen Westley and this is my husband, Ron Westley. You are currently at Pemberley."

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. and Mrs. Westley," he said, bowing, "If you will excuse me, I believe I have some business with my steward."

As soon as Mr. Darcy left, Hermione gave an excited giggle.

"Oh, come off it," said Ron, "_I'm _your husband, remember?"

"Of course I remember," said Hermione, "It's just exciting to think we might have changed the story completely."

_A/N: So this is my first Harry Potter fic… If you think it should be put in the crossover category, please tell me. I couldn't decide. Please review!_


End file.
